Big Dreamer
However, I still grappled with an external voice that instilled doubt in me. This voice whispered discouraging thoughts like, “Artists struggle to make a living. Pursuing art isn’t a legitimate career. You can’t have it all.” It also suggested that I would be an irresponsible adult and mother if I didn’t pursue a traditional corporate path, insisting that children need stability, which can only be achieved through conventional means; clock-in and clock-out, pay the bills.
This marks the beginning of my blogging journey, and I want to share a glimpse into my life as an artist. My passion for drawing has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. As a teenager, I dabbled in painting, though I never considered myself particularly skilled. What set me apart was my unwavering desire to create. I didn’t possess any innate talent; I simply had a burning desire to express myself, so I did.
A couple of years ago, I attended a ladies' night event where we painted with Bob Ross. This experience reignited a long-dormant artistic passion within me. I discovered how much I could achieve with guidance, and I was amazed by the talent of the other women there, even if they believed they couldn’t draw a stick figure. The key difference was that I had the drive to create art. It all comes down to desire and determination.
Alongside the experience that ignited my artistic spirit, I had recently become a mother through marriage. My daughter sadly lost her mother, which allowed me to step in and embrace the role when I married her dad. Her dad and I also had a baby. This journey of motherhood profoundly shifted my perspective on what truly matters in life. It prompted me to reflect on questions like, “What do I want for my children?” and “How can I equip them for the journey ahead?”
I believe these are common questions for many parents, though our answers may vary. It took me some time to arrive at my conclusions, but ultimately, I decided that I want my children to chase their passions and seek happiness. I realized that I must lead by example and support them in every way I can.
However, I still grappled with an external voice that instilled doubt in me. This voice whispered discouraging thoughts like, “Artists struggle to make a living. Pursuing art isn’t a legitimate career. You can’t have it all.” It also suggested that I would be an irresponsible adult and mother if I didn’t pursue a traditional corporate path, insisting that children need stability, which can only be achieved through conventional means; clock-in and clock-out, pay the bills.
I found myself in a state of unease. After seven years as a registered nurse, I felt a deep sense of unfulfillment. While I had the comfort of job security, I was also in the process of overcoming significant debt. How could I possibly trade that security for my ambitious dreams? I often scrolled through Instagram, captivated by the lives of artists, imagining the enchanting existence I could lead if I were in their position. People frequently labeled me “a big dreamer,” a term I often perceived as invalidating. Yet, perhaps it was my own insecurities about my aspirations that colored my perception.
As I navigated social media, I began to encounter advertisements for art courses, one of which was for the Milan Art Institute. These ads promised to prepare individuals for a career as a professional artist, outlining strategies to achieve that goal. I took the time to research and reflect. A mix of nerves and excitement washed over me, but there was also a glimmer of hope. The self-paced course was priced at $3,600, which I deemed reasonable. Even if it only enhanced my artistic skills, it would be a worthwhile investment. So, I decided to take the leap.
Currently, I am still in the first part of the program, and I am already creating art that surpasses my wildest expectations. Remarkably, I’ve even started earning some income from my work without much effort. Encouraged by the interest in my creations, I chose to take my art more seriously, even while continuing my studies. I established a Facebook page, launched a website, and began exploring advertising and entrepreneurship.
And here I am today, still on my journey of learning and growth. My confidence has soared to new heights. I continue to work two days a week as a registered nurse, with plans to transition to a PRN role in the next 2-3 years. This means I would only need to work one shift every six weeks, while still having the flexibility to pick up extra shifts if I choose. I am not relinquishing my security, but more importantly, I am not letting go of my hope. I believe in myself and draw inspiration from artists who thrive solely on their craft. I aspire to be a role model for my children, encouraging them to pursue their passions and discover true happiness in their lives.